Yeshua Revolution

If you decide to take on the formidable task of reading this blog (and more power to you!), I recommend you read the entries in order from oldest to newest because they demonstrate a progression in my journey from a wilderness season from living as a "prodigal" to returning home to the Father. Blogs vary from poetry to journal entries to a testimony. I felt the need to expose my spiritual journey so that God may be glorified and others may be encouraged. I welcome your comments and feedback. God bless you, Amy S. Baynes

Friday, April 15, 2011

Journal: Coming Back Home (part 2)

10/31/10
Thank You, Lord, for letting me off work early so I could attend church. I went to both services because I miss worshipping You so much…
I definitely need to resurrect, renew, and grow in faith. You reminded me that without faith it is impossible to please You.  I need faith to believe You will do the impossible things in and for me.  I need faith to be able to obey.  I need faith to start walking up the mountain and be willing to sacrifice my dreams, goals, visions, callings, and destiny to You. I need faith to believe You will send the ram (the substitute or provision) up the other side of the mountain as I go.  I need faith to surrender all I am and all I have to You.
I also noticed when I got home that I didn’t feel that overwhelming loneliness crushing me like usual. While I was at church and communing with You, You filled that lonely spot in me and I was content. I asked You to forgive me for trying to fill my need for intimacy with the counterfeit of lust. I asked You to forgive me for running to weed and alcohol and movies to ignore my unhappy reality. I pray You forgive me and give me the grace and self-control not to entertain lusts of the flesh. I pray You take away the desire to run to those things.  Help me to walk in the Spirit so I won’t fulfill the desires of the flesh.  I most sincerely pray You take away my desires to lust, smoke weed, and drink.
You had Pastor Garcia ask during the sermon, “What are you withholding from God?” I know I withhold a lot from You, and then I expect You to change me when I haven’t given You that area of my heart or that struggle. Give me the grace to surrender all to You, Lord.

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